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ON THE JOB NEWS EYE ON EDUCATION DISCIPLINE SOCIAL NETWORKING JUST HANDED DOWN The Conflict Resolution Meeting By Steve Albrecht Steve Albrecht worked for the San Diego Police Department from 1984 to 1999. His books include Contact & Cover (C.C. Thomas); Streetwork; Sur- viving Street Patrol; and Tactical Perfection for Street Cops (all for Paladin Press). He can be reached at steve@contactandcover.com. D walk away when I am speaking to you about something in which we disagree." Setting ground rules can be as simple as, "Give the other person feedback and not criticism. Don't use your cell phone when you're having a conversation. Control your body language if you disagree. " Your job is to use "assisted discovery" to help them both get to a position of compromise. LaO Post your comments on this story by visiting espite your desire to have your sworn and non-sworn employees act like ladies and gentlemen at work, and your need for them to get along while they do their jobs, personality conflicts can erupt. What starts as a disagreement over something small, left unaddressed, can de-evolve into bullying, passive-aggressive behaviors, the silent treatment, or worse, litigation, based on one employee's perception (right or wrong) of a hostile work environment. Some employees function under the mistaken belief that every conflict between their co-workers or their supervisors is somehow a "hostile work environment." This wrongly defines the concept and can lead to a sense of entitlement, where they believe their direct supervisor, the next-level supervisor, or the Chief must intervene and rescue them from a situation where they feel mistreated and ill-used. We should ask employees to self-manage their own behavior and to solve their differ- ences without having to "run to Mom and Dad" every time. Professional adults should work and interact professionally. So what do you do if they don't? Because of past histories, previous problems, or when they feel the issue is unfixable, your employees may ask you to ride to the rescue. They may want you to intervene on their behalf and "fix" the other person, as if they weren't a stakeholder too. In these situations, where the issue is not related to a policy violation, like bullying, sexual or racial harassment, or harassment or discrimination related to either employee being in a protected class (age, sexual orientation, pregnancy, religion, etc.), you can suggest to both employees that you will facilitate a discussion between them. This process is not done in a parental way, where you lecture both parties about what they need to do. Rather, you explain this is a voluntary meeting, where you will listen to both sides, help each employee set new "ground rules" about getting along, and what each should expect from the other. A facilitation meeting should not be perceived by anyone as a discipline meeting; it's a guided discussion about boundaries. The process is an attempt to solve communication problems (which often start small and blow up into a mess) by helping both parties listen to each other, without interruptions, arguments, rationalizations or denials. The meeting can go like this – you bring both employees into your office and say, "I've brought you together to help you get along going forward. I will ask each of you to ex- plain the primary problem you have with the other. You can't shout, interrupt or disagree with the other's perspective. When it's your turn to talk, you can give your side. My job is to help you both come up with ground rules to get along." For ground rules to work best, you must help them take abstract concepts – "We need to communicate better" – and turn them into concrete actions: "Don't interrupt me or 12 LAW and ORDER I May 2012 www.lawandordermag.com ( " & ! " " # ( ( !! ( " " ( $ $ $ !! $ $ # $ % ! # # " $ # © " & $ ' Use Rhino D, H, HG & PB Series (US PAT. 5,865,048 6,032,497) CALL FOR CATALOG 545 31 Road GRAND JUNCTION CO 81504 970-243-9500 FAX 243-9200 TOLL FREE 1-866-545-6484 (MITI) services@mitico.com website: mitico.com Click on EInfo at - www.lawandordermag.com reader service #10 PROUDLY MADE IN THE USA